Teh Baebeez!!1!!!!!11!

Ah...abortion. The social issue in which the Right wingers' brain cells melt in a runny slime and they become a mass of rabid moronic bigots, unable to comprehend anything other then "youleftistsarekillinginnocentbabies*youwillallburninhellnodontshowme
anyinformationaboutillegalabortionsijustwannaprotectthebabies!!!!!" No offence to any moderate Righties, by the way. But sadly, abortion, in Victoria, in the 21st century, is still only legal if the mother's life is in serious danger if she gives birth. Thankfully, this might change as Brumby is willing to decriminalise it in a conscience vote.

With a name like 'Helpers of God's Precious Infants' (from now on known as HOGPI), take a wild stab in the dark as to where these fellows stand on the debate. These Christians are the sort of people who'd make Randall Terry proud, intimidating and bullying women who wish to have an abortion. I'm no Christian, but I recall a certain passage about not being a judgmental asshole.

That's where the GrodsArmy comes in. We, inspired by surviving soldiers of previous battles with HOGPI, have now begun the monthly task of protesting against HOGPI on the last Saturday of every month. A short film (filmed by a hung over FM Editor) as well as a funnier version of this post by Capt Lefty are also available.

During the battle, I decided to see if any common ground could be found between us, as I tried to sell fundraising chocolates to support building a school and hospital in Zimbabwe. Needless to say, they were quite uninterested (although that may have had something to do with a) me not being loud enough and b) being interrupted by the police several seconds into the attempt).

However, despite this minor setback, the rally was very successful. We were able to keep the fundies to the opposite side of the clinic, and it was clear that they weren't willing to use their more bullying tactics (such as waving signs of bloody fetuses in the air), instead praying and holding up a statue of a tall hominid creature that was supposed to be either Mary or Jesus. Lt. Keri thought it was Mary holding Jesus, the Captain thought it was Jesus holding himself in a time paradox, and I say it was both; a transsexual Jesus-turned-Mary that had given birth to himself.

For more information on these protests, email General Bron at general_bron@hotmail.com.

*Babies, of course, being small clumps of cellular matter with more biological relations to an amoeba then to a complex human being.